


Tremors and What Calms Them

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Logic | Logan Sanders, Nonbinary Sleep | Remy Sanders, Other, involuntary shaking, mentions of sleep-deprivation, mentions of starvation/not eating when hungry, poor self-care, pretty soft despite the warnings, self-deprecation, the losleep can be read as romantic or qpr, time loss/not realizing time's passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Remy couldn’t stop shaking. Not by nyxself, anyways.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	Tremors and What Calms Them

Remy couldn’t stop shaking.

Shaking wasn’t really the word for it- that suggested it was visible, that everyone could see, could ask about. It was more akin to trembling, every muscle beneath nyx skin contracting and un-contracting just enough to leave nyx feeling shaky without truly shaking. Not to mention the headache that didn’t burn, just hurt, and the way ny could just barely feel nyx heart thumping against nyx chest every other minute.

Of course, Remy knew why ny was feeling like this, why everything was wrong. While no one would ever deem nyx the poster child for self-care, ny was normally fairly good at maintaining some semblance of it. Recently, however… well.

But ny was fine, really! It wasn’t fun to be constantly shaking like ny was three wrong words away from a panic attack, but that was alright! It wasn’t like Remy was collapsing or anything!

Falling over, on the other hand? Yeah, Remy was doing that.

It had just been one misstep and Remy was down, wincing as ny hit the ground with absolutely no grace. Despite the uncomfortableness of nyx new position, however, ny didn’t bother getting back up, instead just pressing nyx knees against nyx chest, wrapping nyx arms around them and resting nyx head on top of them as well. It was the easier alternative to getting up.

Remy didn’t know how long ny sat like that, doing little more than breathing and wishing that ny would just stop shaking, stop trembling, stop feeling like there was a current of raw electricity jumping around just beneath nyx skin and keeping nyx from relaxing. Long enough ny should be worried, probably.

Though ny had always been firmly of the belief that time was fake, it seemed real right then, if only for the fact that it was frozen. Logically, ny knew time was passing, that ny had been sitting there for a while. But to nyx, it was as if not a moment had passed at all, as if ny had fallen over but seconds ago and not what was likely now half an hour ago. Time was frozen, and ny was stuck in it.

And then something hit nyx shoulders and time was moving again.

Remy couldn’t identify it at first, unwilling to put in the effort it would take to move nyx head to look at it. One of its edges brushed against nyx hand and ny grabbed that, rubbing the material between nyx fingers. Soft yet firm. Familiar. Comforting. A blanket.

Remy sighed, curling more into nyxself and allowing the blanket to further envelope nyx. The weight was real, was grounding.

Someone sat down next to nyx, just forward enough that Remy could see them in nyx peripheral. They waited a moment, clearly wanting to give Remy a chance to react. When ny didn’t, they slid an arm over nyx shoulders, guiding Remy to rest nyx head in the crook of their neck.

A minute passed in silence, Remy more than happy to press nyxself up against the warm body that had drawn nyx close in the first place and pretend that the two of them were the only things in the world. But the silence couldn’t last forever.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself.” Logan said, simple as fact. Remy just hummed. It wasn’t like ny hadn’t been taking care of nyxself on purpose, ny just… kept forgetting. Forgetting to eat and forgetting to go to bed sooner rather than later and forgetting to do anything about it. Forgetting over and over again until ny was a wreck.

“How do you feel?” Logan asked, moving on, and Remy loved that, loved how easily they could do that, just press on without it feeling awkward or forced.

“I can’t stop shaking.” Remy answered truthfully, not trying to explain it further. Logan would understand. They always did.

“You’re exhausted.” Logan said, tone calm and smooth and gentle, the concern Remy knew they were feeling hovering just below the surface of their words, kept at bay by Logan’s need to help before they worried. “Your body likely thinks you’re under attack, something forcing you away from rest and nourishment. It’s trying to give you the energy you need to escape and survive, but it’s not getting enough back from you in return. So you’re stuck somewhere between an adrenaline rush and passing out.”

That sounded smart. Logan had that skill, where everything they said sounded like fact, even when it wasn’t. Remy used to think it was a little bit annoying, a little bit odd.

Then Logan had told Remy they loved nyx in that exact same tone. And Remy suddenly didn’t think it was annoying or odd at all.

“I’m sorry.” Remy said, because ny felt like ny should. Ny knew how nyx partner worried over nyx, knew how upset it made them to see nyx like this. But as always, Remy fell into all the same potholes, and by the time ny realized just what was wrong, it was too late for it to matter.

The arm around Remy’s shoulder tightened, drawing nyx even closer up against Logan. “It’s okay.”

“Is it?” Remy asked before ny could stop nyxself. Because was it really okay at this point, really okay for nyx to keep making the same mistakes and still be surprised by the consequences, to still need to be helped through the same low point ny had already been in dozens of times before?

“It is.” Logan said, and there was their factual voice again, both soft and strong as they shifted enough to bring their free hand to Remy’s head, beginning to card their fingers through nyx hair, scratching at nyx scalp as Remy melted even more into their hold. “It is because you’re trying. You’re trying so hard, love, even when you’re feeling at your lowest. And I’m incredibly proud of you for that.”

“I’m not trying now.” Remy said quietly. “I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re letting me help.” Logan responded, pausing to press a soft and warm kiss against the top of Remy’s head, the gesture making nyx feel warm in a way that nothing else could. “That’s something.”

Remy didn’t respond to that, but Logan seemed to understand. They allowed the silence to stretch once more, Remy’s face still hidden against their neck as they combed through nyx hair, the minuscule trembles that had been plaguing Remy all day finally started to abate as ny relaxed against Logan.

“Do you want to eat or rest first?” Logan asked soon enough.

“Rest.” Remy answered after half a moment of contemplation. Ny didn’t have it in nyx to try and eat right then. It wouldn’t be that hard, ny knew, not when ny knew that Logan would make the bite-sized pb&j sandwiches that Remy rarely didn’t have the appetite for and let nyx eat them on the couch while something played on the tv in the background, the perfect setup for Remy to drift off as soon as ny was done eating, but that didn’t matter to Remy right then. All Remy wanted to do was rest. Food could come later.

“Alright.” Logan said softly. “Do you want to walk to our bedroom?”

Remy shook nyx head, just slightly, against Logan’s neck. Ny didn’t want to stand at all, much less try and move. Logan understood immediately.

Logan had picked Remy up dozens of times before, but that couldn’t stop Remy from falling a little bit more in love with them every time they did it. Head still tucked against Logan’s neck, nyx entire body supported and held close by Logan, surrounded by warmth and security, Remy had never known a place safer or happier than there, held close to Logan like ny was something precious.

“You are something precious. You are the most precious ‘something’ in my life” Logan told nyx, and Remy was too busy loving them to care about the fact that ny had apparently been speaking out loud.

They arrived at their bedroom only seconds later. Logan sat down on the edge of the bed, cradling Remy close as they removed both of their glasses, taking Remy’s jacket off of nyx as well. At no point did their warmth leave Remy, not even for a second.

Soon enough, they were lying both of them down, careful to make sure that Remy was still covered by nyx blanket as they did so. They pulled the sheets over the both of them before their arms once more wrapped around Remy, pulling nyx close against their chest yet again. Remy’s arms moved as well, holding onto Logan even as ny curled up as much as ny could, trying to hoard both Logan’s warmth and nyx own.

Logan chuckled at the movement, but the sound was only fond. “I love you.” They said, so simply it couldn’t be anything but truth.

“Because I breakdown?” Remy asked, nyx attempt at a joke falling horribly flat.

“Because you get back up.” Logan answered, pressing a kiss to Remy’s forehead as they spoke.

“I love you too.” Remy said after a moment, the pause not brought about by nyx having to think about whether or not ny loved them but instead just how much ny loved them.

Logan nestled their head on top of Remy’s, pulling nyx even closer against them. “Get some sleep.” They said softly and gently and lovingly.

Warm, safe, and loved, Remy saw no reason not to.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me and my losleep bois on tumblr at @sleepless-in-starbucks


End file.
